Fear and Loathing in New Gotham
by meremortal2k3
Summary: DinahHelena femslash set after the last episode. Blaming herself for Harley Quinns invasion of the Clock Tower and Wades death, Helena takes off only to be found by her young friend.
1. Chapter 1

"Is Angel around

Title: Fear and Loathing in New Gotham

Rating:

Pairing: Helena/Dinah

Disclaimer: I don't own them; I'm just having some fun.

Part 1

Helena let the sizzling water cascade over her body. She had missed hot showers; the shower in her apartment was lukewarm at best. Letting out a groan the brunette felt tension drip from her, the shaking in her hands had all but stopped. Leaning forward Helena let her forehead rest against the cool tiles, the water still pounding between her shoulder blades. She felt her mind flit over the day. As her stomach lurched, Helena scrambled from the shower and emptied her stomach into the toilet.

She felt a presence behind her but couldn't turn away from the basin. She retched again and couldn't remember eating as much as what was coming out of her.

"Now that's sexy." Dinah grimaced from the doorway as the naked; soaking wet Huntress vomited again.

Helena couldn't help it. She was hoping the person behind her had been Barbara, her friend, coming up to see if she had really come home after being gone for so long. Helena began to cry, heavy sobs punctuated by puking. She was shaking violently and she couldn't stop. God, she wished it had been Barbara.

Dinah was stone all of a sudden. She had never known the brunette to cry before, she had heard from her guardian that it was possible; that she wasn't such a heartless bitch, but seeing it chilled her. Helena had hurt them so much lately. She had taken off not long after what had happened to Wade and had not been seen since. But at this moment she didn't care that the girl in so much pain just happened to be psycho-Huntress, she was just a girl in pain.

……………..

Dinah had been out late last night; gotten a little drunk and now she was paying the price. Barbara hadn't even looked up from the Delphi as she stumbled from the elevator, but she knew that the red-head was disappointed; she could feel it in the air.

It was times like this that she wished she could have been meta-stealthy, in and out without Barbara knowing. She made a silent prayer that the pills she had retrieved from Helena's medicine cabinet would work on the alcohol induced thumping inside her head, at least she hoped that it was alcohol induced. A bitter taste enveloped her mouth as she swallowed them dry. She rubbed at her sore eyes and re-focused on the woman sitting opposite her.

Dinah had fetched a sheet from the Huntress' little used bed and wrapped it around the naked woman. She rubbed her back until the dry retching had ceased and then scooted across the cold linoleum lined floor as fresh tears fell from the other woman's eyes. She watched as Helena pulled her knees up into her chest and wrapped her arms around them before burying her face within the sheets and started crying.

……………….

Helena had let her wet hair provide a curtain that hid her face. She had stopped crying and was now taking in deep shuddery breaths. She could feel that Dinah was still there even though she hadn't looked up. She had been too far gone earlier to care that the other woman was in the room as she sobbed. Now, she was embarrassed. She felt weak, stupid and sick. She cursed out loud as a fresh set of tears threatened.

"You okay?" The blonde spoke eventually. She grimaced at how loud her voice seemed.

Helena nodded.

"Jesus Christ Hel." Dinah's voice was little more than a whisper. "What happened to you?"

Helena's eyes were red and her face pale when she eventually looked up. "Too much."

Dinah couldn't help herself. She slid across the floor and pulled Helena in to an embrace. She had spent the last year in New Gotham helping people. She couldn't stop now just because of what Helena had done. She tugged at the other woman's hands and looped them behind her back until she took the hint and hugged her back. Dinah's hands slid up the pale blue sheet that surrounded Helena, one hand pulled her closer while the other went to the back of her head easing her down on to her shoulder. Eventually the two women had their arms around each other and Helena had her face nestled in the crook of Dinah's neck where she began to cry again.

Dinah shushed soothingly.

"I can't do it anymore." Helena mumbled through tears.

"Can't do what sweetie?" Dinah pulled back slightly, cradling the other woman's face in her hands. She swallowed at a lump that had formed in her throat at Helena's obvious hurting. She wondered for a second why she had found it so difficult to even have a civil conversation with Helena after Quinn had gotten into the Clock Tower. None of it had really been Helena's fault but, Dinah was scared of what Helena as Huntress was really capable of.

Helena tried to lower her face so that Dinah couldn't look at her like she was, but she was surprisingly weak against the younger woman's grip. Her lip began to tremble.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Dinah comforted. "I can go and fetch Barbara if you'd prefer to talk to her." She kept her gaze on the other woman and was stunned by the flash of fear that appeared in her violet eyes.

Helena wrapped her fingers in the other woman's shirt and gripped hard. "You can't go out there D."

Dinah Redmond tried to hide the knot of panic that clenched at her insides.

"I don't want Barbara to know that I'm here. It's too hard for her to see me." Helena's eyes were wide. She didn't want to hurt the woman who had been her best friend, surrogate mother and work partner anymore.

The teenager let out a slow breath that she hadn't realized she was holding and giggled nervously. "You've really got a thing for her haven't you?"

"Jesus D, it's not like that." Helena grimaced. "She's a friend and I love her, but not like that."

"I'm sorry." At least she had the grace to apologize. "It's just that you seemed real close, I thought that maybe …"

Helena let a small smile play on her lips as she thought of the totally unassuming red-head. She wondered what Barbara would say if she knew that their young charge thought that Helena had a crush on her.

Silence hung between them for a little while before Dinah eventually spoke. She never did enjoy silence. "So, erm … seeing as I'm going to be here for a while; seeing as Barbara's out there, you wanna talk about what you said earlier." She noticed the confusion and elaborated. "You said that 'you can't do it anymore'." She repeated verbatim.

The two women were side by side with their backs up against the wall opposite the bathtub. Helena ran her hands through her slightly damp hair, combing it through with her fingers. She was trying to figure out what to do. She didn't know if Dinah was the right person to speak to; but after the whole naked vomiting, she knew she had to talk to someone and Dinah was the only person right here right now. She looked down at her hands and noticed that they were still trembling. She was almost struck dumb when the blonde who had also noticed the trembling, took both of her hands and rubbed them gently between her own as if to warm them.

"I went out today," Helena began as she took in a deep calming breath. "I was just going to get some air … stretch my legs a little."

Dinah cradled the other woman's hands in her lap as she spoke, gently running her thumbs over the soft skin.

Helena stared at her hands as she continued. "I went to a bar. It's a known crim hanging joint. I just sat there listening … and it kinda felt like old times … being surrounded by scum … knowing that if I wanted to, I could take them out. If I wanted to." She listened to her own words as she spoke in staccato sentences and could feel bile burn in her chest. "I'm a superhero, right? … It's my job. But I started to shake. Jees D, I was so scared. I … I just took off, I … I wanted outta there as quick as." She gasped a breath. "I was in the alley in about three seconds flat. That's where he jumped me. God I don't even know what he was … he was so quick." Helena's chest throbbed; her breaths were becoming short and shallow. Her eyes changed into the cat like slits of the Huntress.

"Helena." Dinah stopped the other woman as she was about to continue. "Hel, honey, do me a favour and take a deep breath."

The Huntress' eyes were almost glowing as she started to hyperventilate. Suddenly she could see the young blonde in front of her again. She could feel Dinah's right hand grip her chin and pull her until they were eye to eye. Helena began to emulate the deep breaths that the other woman had begun, watching her face, feeling long; slow; breaths on her face. She fought to control the rapid rise and fall of her chest.

"I looked down and they were red." Helena didn't wait for Dinah to ask her if she wanted to continue, she just needed to get it out. "The blood that covered my hands, it was so red … like … Wade's. I hit him … and for a moment it was back then and the blood was so red." She let Dinah pull her into another hug. "I never wanted to hurt him … I just couldn't stop.

"God D, I can't do this anymore."


	2. Chapter 2

She spent the night with Helena

Title: Fear and Loathing in New Gotham pt.2

She spent the night with Helena. They lay side by side in the same bed and she had slept like a baby. She didn't stay awake watching her; too frightened to sleep in case Helena attacked and she certainly hadn't flinched when the brunette had rolled over in her unconscious state, lying pressed against the length of her body. She had fallen asleep almost as soon as she had crawled in besides the sleeping Huntress. Dinah had felt safe in the Clock Tower for the first time since Harley Quinn had terrorized them and ripped them apart.

What had frightened Dinah was that Helena had not been there when she had awoken. Once again no one knew where Helena Kyle was. She had disappeared not long after the incident with Wade and she had disappeared again.

……………………………

Dinah yawned widely as she sat at the breakfast table waiting for Alfred to place her cereal in front of her. "Helena was here last night." She spoke as if saying 'pass the milk'.

"What?" Barbara was shocked and more than a little hurt at not seeing Helena for herself. They had been good friends ever since circumstances forced them together.

"She was in a pretty bad way … stopped by for a shower." The blonde munched. "Spent the night in my room."

"Dinah, why didn't you tell me?" Barbara felt a sudden flare of anger at being kept out of the loop. She had been trying to track Helena for the past couple of weeks. When she hadn't returned to the Clock Tower after a few days, she had started to worry. But Helena was good. she was too much like her mother. She knew how to lay low and live off the land. She had probably gotten a job which paid cash in hand and rented a sleazy motel room; which cost more than it was worth but was cheaper than anywhere else.

Hell, if it hadn't been for Dinah's unexpected revelation, Barbara would have started to widen her search. It would have been possible and as time went on, more probable that Helena had left New Gotham.

"She doesn't want to see you, Barbara." The blonde grimaced at how unkind her words sounded. "I mean … she's a little raw right now. She's still blaming herself for Wade's death even though we both know that it wasn't her fault.

"Helena sees that she scares us sometimes and if I hadn't been the one to walk into the bathroom when I did, she probably would've spent the night with you instead." She took a mouthful of Lucky Charm's and chewed. "I just don't think she wanted anyone to see her like that."

Barbara was a little dumbfounded by the teenager's insightfulness. "Erm … see her like what, Dinah?"

Dinah's brows knitted in thought. "Upset, sick … she'd been in a fight and it freaked her out."

"What?" The redhead felt like she was reverting to prehistoric man. She had yet to string together a descent sentence this morning. "She's not hurt or ill is she? You said that she was sick."

"Shock, probably." The blonde lifted her spoon and flicked at a pink marshmallow that fell back into her bowl. She didn't like the pink ones. "Helena said that she'd hit a guy who had attacked her." Dinah slid the spoon into her mouth and started to chew again. "She said that she had blood on her hands … kinda reminded her of that night. I'm guessing that's what made her freak."

Barbara Gordon, the Oracle, could almost feel the cogs in her brain start to turn again. She took a deep swig of strong black coffee to lubricate the wheels and she was back in business. "If Huntress had hurt this guy bad enough to get blood on her hands, then maybe the guy had to visit the E.R. or someone could've seen the scuffle or even reported it to the police." She was grateful that it was a Saturday and that she didn't need to go into work. Barbara shifted her chair over to the Delphi and began to type.

"I'm checking hospital and police records … and I'll contact a few sources to see if anyone saw anything that could help. If we can find out where this fight took place, then there's a good chance that Helena is staying within that local area.

"You did a great job Dinah." She smiled warmly and continued her quest satisfied that they had a really good chance of finding their missing partner.

"It wasn't a job." Dinah mumbled to herself. "I was trying to help a friend.

…………………………..

Dinah turned the corner and headed towards the school. She was determined to find Gabby and ask if it was okay that she could spend the night at her place. Barbara was driving her batty and she needed to get away. All over the weekend, Barbara had questioned her over and over again, trying to get her to remember more about her encounter with Helena. The redhead was becoming obsessive in her search, which was why she had decided to leave the Tower early and catch the bus to school.

Panic gripped her as a strong arm came around her waist and dragged her into a darkened alley. Then she was ready, adrenaline pumping. Someone had snuck up on her and now they were in for an ass kicking. Dinah spun on her heels ready to fight.

"Reese has been checking motels." Helena grumbled, eyes flittering around her trying to determine if anyone, other than the blonde, was watching her. "I'm thinking that Barbara sent him. It's a good job that I gave the guy a little extra to deny my existence." She was referring to the motel clerk but didn't elaborate on what the 'little extra' had been. "What exactly does she know?" She was at last satisfied that she wasn't under surveillance so she focused her attention on the teen.

"Come home Helena." Dinah took a deep breath and tried to calm her thumping heart. She didn't even dignify the brunette's paranoid, but true, ranting with a reply. "You need help."

"You think I need to see a shrink?" Helena mused, shaking her head at her twisted joke. I can't go back. I can't be Barbara's little vigilante anymore, D."

"She doesn't expect you to." Dinah defended her mentor. "She just wants you to come home. We miss you."

Helena frowned at the youngster, confused by her words. "How can you miss a murderer?"

"Damn it, Hel. You are not a murderer. It was Quinzel." She spoke the words slowly as if explaining to a child.

"It was me, Dinah. I hit him and hit him and hit him … and then … I squeezed every breath out of his throat with, my, hands." Helena looked down at her hands, eyes wide with panic. She half expected to see the blood and, even though there wasn't any, her stomach still lurched.

Helena bent at the waist and retched, nothing came up. She hadn't eaten anything in two days but she still expected to vomit.

"Tell Barbara to leave me alone. Tell her I'm sorry but I can't do it anymore."

"Tell her yourself, Hel." Dinah felt a bolt of fear surge through her body as Helena's cobalt eyes snapped to meet hers. She needed to get the woman back to the Clock Tower. A good long talk with Barbara wouldn't put everything right, but it might help the other woman – maybe even both of them. Talking was long overdue and it would show Helena that Barbara didn't blame her. "Jesus Christ, the two of you have been through so much together. Why is it so hard for you to be in the same room as her?"

Helena stumbled backwards, hitting the wall, and slid to the ground. She wrapped her arms around her knees and began to cry.

Dinah was stunned. They were in a relatively public place and Helena was crying … again. She crouched down on her knees and grabbed a hold of the other woman's chin, yanking sharply upwards until liquid cobalt met electric blue. Something else was going on and she was determined to get to the bottom of it. "Okay, if you can't talk to Barbara, you can just talk to me."

"But…" Helena sobbed. "What about school?"

The blonde shrugged her shoulders with forced nonchalance. "I shouldn't get into too much trouble for skipping one day." She was actually really nervous at missing school, it was her first time without her guardian's permission, but Helena was more important.

……………………………………

"Holy crap." Dinah didn't hide her disgust at the way Helena had been living. She couldn't believe that she had wiped her feet on a mat before coming in. She was going to have to wipe her feet on the way out now.

Helena's motel room was one of a dozen. It was dark and dirty. The bedclothes were stained with things that the teenager didn't even want to think about. She walked around the 10 feet square room and pushed open the door to the en-suite bathroom. 'No wonder Helena had come back to the Clock Tower for a shower', she thought silently. Everything was streaked with rust and grime and reminded Dinah of a scene from that Playstation game, Silent Hill.

"How long have you been living here?"

Helena hung her head, not wanting to see the disapproval. "About a week."

Dinah turned and took in the bedraggled woman. This was not the Helena that she was used to knowing. Her Helena was immaculate, everything about her screamed seductress. She was powerful and sexy she knew it and used it. This Helena was little more than rag and bones covered by clothes that were too large. It was almost as if she was wearing someone else's clothes brought from Goodwill, but these were her clothes and Dinah knew it because she had stolen that pale blue tank top on more than one occasion.

"You haven't been eating." It was a statement not a question. She reached into her backpack and pulled out her lunch. She handed it over and gave Helena a glare that told her she was not about to leave until she had finished it.

Dinah took a seat on the bed, silently reminding herself to burn her jeans when she got home, and patted the covers gingerly. "Sit, talk."

Helena felt lower than the dirt on her carpet. She was being taken in hand by a kid whom she had taunted and bullied ever since they had found each other. She peeled open the brown paper bag and pulled out a Granola bar, eating it quickly before moving on to the ham salad sandwich. "I don't know what to say." Her voice was almost a whisper.

"How about you tell me what happened?" The beginning was always good Dinah thought.

The brunette crossed her legs and stared at the bed covers. "Erm … I had had a fight with Barbara, which was why I went back to Quinzel's. I needed to talk and that's what I paid her for." Helena could feel her chest tighten as she remembered. She forced herself to keep calm and not to start blubbering like she had on Friday night. It was good to talk at least that's what her shrink had told her. "I told her about the fight as we talked. She asked me what had caused it and I told her that I'd said something about … Wade.

"She started to say stuff and it was kinda weird coming from a shrink … I don't remember much else about it … and then I was back in the Clock Tower and Wade was there." Her hands were shaking again and the brunette couldn't hold back the sobs any longer. Every time she thought of Wade, the man she had killed, she started to cry.

Dinah pulled Helena into her and cradled the distraught woman as though she was her precious baby. She shushed and rocked, smoothing bangs longer than she remembered out of her face. Dinah knew what had happened once Helena had returned to the Tower. It was those moments before, the ones that led her to Harleen and the ones which occurred in her office that she wanted to know about.

"What was the fight about, Hel?" Dinah spoke softly as the other woman began to calm down. She was surprised by the heavy sob released as she asked her question.

Helena tried to remove herself from the blondes arms but couldn't. Dinah held her in a strong but comforting embrace which she wasn't letting Helena up from. Helena buried her face in the crook of Dinah's arm. "I told her that … Wade was only with her out of pity. I told her that he went for her because he figured her to be an easy lay with a little attention."

"Why? Why would you say something like that, Hel?" Dinah asked, incredulous at the thought of Helena being so hurtful towards Barbara. She could feel the brunette start to shake again and knew that she was crying again.

"She told me … that he loved her …" Helena sobbed against Dinah's t-shirt. "And that … she loved him. I … hated him … and I wanted her to hate him too."

"Why would you want that, Helena?" It was becoming clear now how Harleen had been able to make the Huntress kill Wade, after all hypnosis is a suggestion not an order.

"Because …" The older woman ground out through tears. "I told Barbara that I was in love with her."


	3. Chapter 3

Dinah didn't say anything

Title: Fear and Loathing in New Gotham pt.3

Dinah didn't say anything. What could she say? Damn. She knew now why Barbara wanted to find Helena so badly. It was clear that the redhead didn't love Helena like she wanted her to and Helena knew that. Barbara would be blaming herself for Wade's death as much as Helena. If she hadn't turned the brunette away in such a state, she wouldn't have needed to talk to Quinzel and she wouldn't have been compromised. Damn.

She held the Huntress tightly, murmuring comforting sounds and words, waiting for the tears to end. No wonder she blamed herself. She was no longer comfortable being Huntress because she was no longer in control of her own actions. Even at her worst, Dinah was always confident that Helena could stop if she wanted to. But that night Helena couldn't stop. Huntress was a separate being and Helena was a prisoner in her own body.

The blonde looked down at her friend and gently eased her face away from her soaking shirt so that she could see her. The tears had subsided but the sobs continued. "Shusshh." Dinah breathed. "It's all going to be alright."

Helena lifted her hand and touched the face of the angel that held her. She traced her fingers over a covertly strong jaw and soft smooth skin. She looked into deep azure eyes and saw nothing but concern. Snaking her fingers across fine cheekbones and into silky blonde hair another sob made her body shake, but the woman still held her tight. She cradled the teens head and pulled down as she lifted slightly. Helena touched her lips to the blonde's, sharing her raspberry lip gloss and warm breath. It was too fleeting a touch as her angel pulled away.

"Helena, we shouldn't." Her voice little more than a whisper as her arms tightened.

It wasn't a no. It wasn't a disgusted separation that left her alone. "Please, Dinah. I just need to feel something other than pain. Please."

Dinah closed her eyes and bought their lips together again. It was so gentle as they moved a little. Full lips sliding against full lips. Her body began to tingle as she felt the tentative flick of a tongue barely moistening her bottom lip. Moaning involuntarily she opened her mouth and allowed entrance.

Dinah had kissed guys before but it had never felt like this. It had never been this tender and sweet. An incendiary was sparked inside of her and she cupped the other woman's damp cheeks, wiping away tears as she did so. Slipping her tongue into Helena's mouth, she encouraged the kiss to deepen.

Helena clambered to her knees. She wanted more. Kissing became a battle, tongues jousting. A bombardment of tastes and textures she had never experienced before alighted Helena's passion. Her hands came down to the edge of Dinah's tight shirt, finger's being burned by the heated skin barely exposed. She grabbed for the blonde's hips, wanting to be closer, pulling herself nearer until she was straddling Dinah as she sat with legs crossed.

She pressed herself against the feminine body, kissing passionately. She wanted more. Helena tugged at Dinah's powder pink blouse, pulling it upwards, only separating their lips to remove it completely. She threw the offending garment, not caring where it landed. Her mouth became one with Dinah's, her hands ghosting over pale flesh until her want became more and her touch became more firm.

Fingers traced the contours of lace and she had to look. Kissing the blonde, she plucked her bottom lip between gentle teeth and tugged eliciting a throaty groan. As Dinah's eyes fluttered shut Helena took the opportunity to drink in the sight. Bare skin and hidden breasts made the brunette shiver. She followed the line of sinew along Dinah's graceful neck with hooded eyes. The small indent at her throat led to an expanse of buttermilk skin and then further to a plunging V. She wanted to kiss and taste. She wanted to strip away the pretty pink bra and feel.

Helena lifted her head slowly. Her heavy lidded eyes backtracking until they came to kiss swollen lips, a delicate nose and blazing blue eyes.

Dinah swooped forward and claimed the other girl's mouth with her own. She wanted more kissing. Kissing was good. She ran her fingers from where she cupped Helena's face tangling them in messy auburn hair, down to her shoulders and along her arms until their fingers entwined. Dinah lifted their combined hands and brought them to her chest. Tentatively, she placed Helena's hands to her breasts. The slight pressure felt delicious, but she wanted more.

As nipples pushed rudely against silky fabric, Helena felt the liquid weight in her hands and brushed her thumbs over the tips. As she sucked on Dinah's tongue she brought her fingers between the globes and pushed the front opening clasp together. Helena eased the garment off of the blonde and dropped it.

Helena kneeled and took her weight off of her lover's lap. She edged Dinah down on to her back and lay on top of her.

"Wait." Dinah gasped a moment of panic as she realised what they were about to do.

Helena was only aware of the aching in her lips from where the blonde was no longer kissing her. She pressed her lips to Dinah's and felt the girl stiffen.

"Please." Helena breathed as she lifted her gaze.

Helena's gaze was longing, filled with a burning passion aimed at her. Dinah felt her body clench. Helena wanted her. She lifted her head and forced their mouths together. Heat exploded inside her belly as her breath caught fire. It was too much, too fast. She felt as though she was going to pass out.

Gently, Dinah pushed against Helena's chest. She could feel the erratic heart beat beneath her palm as their lips separated.

Helena whimpered.

"Slow down." Dinah whispered. "I want to be able to feel … all of this." She watched as the other woman gave a dazed nod. Their lips met again.

Helena moved so that she was now only half covering the blonde. Her body stretched along the length of the other woman, her leg between Dinah's, her hand on her waist.

Their kissing became slower more a devotion to learning than the ardent frenzy it had been.

Her finger's brailed Dinah's body, finding the sweet spots that elicited sounds of pleasure. As their mutual need for more became evident, Helena replaced her exploring fingers with her mouth. Moist kisses discovered new terrain as lips petted her bosom.

Dinah arched in to the brunette's willing mouth as a tongue circled her nipples alternatively. She was so hot, ready to explode from the kisses alone. She wanted more.

With Helena suckling her breast, Dinah reached out and grabbed for the other woman's tank top. She pulled and tugged until Helena stopped what she was doing and tore the shirt from her own body. As the older woman's mouth returned to her painfully erect nipples, Dinah removed Helena's bra.

It was the first time that she had ever touched another woman's breasts, they felt strange to her. Helena's breasts were warm and soft. The nipples pebbled to her touch and it brought a smirk to her lips to think that she did that to Helena. Dinah massaged the heated globes as Helena started to suck on her neck. She could feel the other woman move so that she was straddling her again. She could feel Helena move against her, rubbing their bodies together. She couldn't help the groan that escaped her throat.

Helena moved downwards, unceremoniously slipping her breasts from Dinah's hands. She plunged her tongue into the other woman's navel; her finger's dipping into the waistband of her pants teasing the button. Helena looked up in to clouded azure eyes, waiting for permission to go further.

Dinah gave a short nod and screwed her eyes together as Helena unfastened her jeans and pulled them and her panties down.

Helena stood at the end of the bed with the last of Dinah's clothes in her hand. Her breathing became ragged as she slid her eyes up the length of her body. She was somewhat startled by the look of panic in the other woman's eyes. She noticed as Dinah tried to cover herself with her hands and Helena realised that she was nervous about being naked in front of someone who was so obviously enjoying the view. She dropped Dinah's clothes and raced to remove her own pants and panties, kicking them off her feet as they hit her ankles. Slowly, she crawled back on to the bed. She watched as Dinah's eyes and fingertips skirted over every inch of her body, only then did she feel comfortable about continuing.

Helena gave Dinah a lingering kiss before trailing her tongue back down the nubile blonde's body. She searched out some of those sweet spots she had found earlier much to the other woman's delight, before she kissed a trail across the frosting of golden pubic hair.

Dinah threw her head back into the pillow as Helena licked the length of her labia. She had never had the pleasure of a woman's mouth on her sex and it was like nothing she had ever felt. Even the slightest flick of a tongue drove Dinah closer to the edge.

Dinah tasted so much like warmed honey on Helena's tongue that she groaned and the vibrations in turn made the blonde grind against her face. Helena gave another long lick, gathering all of the sweet juices. Then the brunette gave Dinah's erect clitoris a quick kiss before she sucked two of her fingers into her mouth, making sure they were nice and wet. Gently, she eased a single finger inside of the blonde. Rubbing backwards and forwards, she felt the tight squeeze of flesh surrounding her. Helena gave Dinah's clit another pass with her tongue as thighs pressed firmly around her head and she could no longer hear the other woman's moans over the sound of blood rushing in her ears. She fastened her lips around the excited bundle of nerves and sucked as she pushed in another finger.

Dinah bucked against her lover, the sensations too much. One last thrust of fingers and flicker of tongue sent Dinah free-falling in to blackness.

…………………………………

Helena lay staring at the beautiful woman asleep by her side. Dinah had selflessly let her partake in the pleasures of sex and she would be eternally grateful. She felt something other than disgust and pain. Her body hummed with the post-coital tingles. She knew that Dinah had never slept with a woman before, it was apparent from her initial awkwardness, but there was a first time for everyone.

Helena Kyle slipped onto her back and looked up at the speckled ceiling. Her fingers played against her ribs as she thought over the experience. Dinah wasn't Barbara but she had been a distraction. Helena remembered all of the kissing and wondered if Barbara would be so enthused by the heavy petting. It had been like a killer make-out session, one that she would always remember. Helena thought of how perfectly soft Dinah's skin was and wondered how Barbara's slightly marred skin would feel. She thought of how sweet the blonde had tasted and wondered how Barbara would taste. She wondered if Barbara would feel so tight around her fingers.

Dinah had been really snug Helena thought … even when she only had one finger inside of her.

The brunette's brows knitted in consternation as she flipped back onto her side and contemplated the blonde. "Oh fuck." Helena breathed … and there had been blood.


	4. Chapter 4

Dinah didn't say anything

Title: Fear and Loathing in New Gotham pt.4

A wide smile spread across the blonde's sleep mussed features. She wiggled slightly into the mattress, trying to remove the spring from her back. Hands traced her own body exploring the gentle curves, everything felt different. Dinah felt like a woman.

Slipping a hand from her delicately concave belly and on to the sheets, she reached out for her lover. Dinah's pale blue eyes fluttered open as she found the other side of the bed empty. Scooting onto her side she looked around the dingy motel room and decided that it looked better in the dark.

"Hel." She called out towards the bathroom.

Her voice echoed.

Dinah clambered out of the bed and pulled a sheet around her body. She stumbled over its length but managed to reach the door without breaking anything.

She tapped at the door. "Hel."

No reply.

The young woman pushed at the door, it swung wide on creaky hinges. Helena wasn't in there. The grin which had adorned Dinah's face since she had awoken began to slip. Bunching up the dangerous toga, Dinah headed towards the wardrobe and threw it open.

Only rusty clothes hangers and a bare bristled broom.

Helena had gone.

Dinah crumpled to the floor, shocked by the betrayal. Helena had made love to her and left, treated her like a one night stand and then tossed her aside.

……………………………….

The elevator doors to the Clock Tower slid open. Head down, Dinah almost sprinted across the vast space between the entrance and her room.

"Dinah?"

The blonde froze. "What?"

"Where were you today?" Barbara turned away from the computer where she had abandoned her search for Helena to instead, switch the Delphi's resources to finding her young ward. "You weren't at school." She breathed slowly trying to regain a little composure after the fear of thinking she had lost someone else had passed.

Dinah ran her hands through her hair scrapping it away from her face. She turned towards the redhead but didn't lift her eyes. "I'm tired Barbara … and I need to take a shower."

"Dinah, I was worried." Barbara scowled at the youth's disregard for common courtesy. She wouldn't have been pleased if Dinah had told her she was skipping school before hand, but for the right reason she might have excused her. Their life was a complicated one and allowances would have to be made. If Dinah had told her, or even let her know that she was all right, she wouldn't have spent the whole day worried sick. "Where were you?"

"I went to look for Helena." It was the only excuse she could think of that wouldn't end up with her being grounded. She shifted nervously. Her skin was crawling and she desperately wanted to take a scrubbing brush to it.

"Did you find anything?" Barbara's attention yo-yo'd back to the missing brunette.

Dinah shook her head before lifting sparkling blue eyes to meet emerald. "I didn't find a thing. I'm sorry, Barbara."

Barbara felt pity for the teen that had also lost a friend and, to her chagrin, role-model. Dinah was feeling the loss as much as she was. "Go." She gave the obviously exhausted blonde permission to leave. "And next time … please tell me first."

Dinah nodded and said goodnight before leaving for her bedroom.

………………………………..

Dinah Redmond ripped the clothes from her body and stuffed them into the waste bin by her desk. She reached for a bathrobe, wrapped it tight around her body and headed for the bathroom.

Stopping at the sink, the blonde squeezed a line of stripy toothpaste onto her brush and scrubbed at her teeth and tongue. Gargling water, blue eyes met the blue in her reflection. She felt sick as she noticed purpling bruises along the edge of her collar.

Helena had bitten her. It was soft and wet but there was no love, they were just bites.

Closing her eyes, hiding from her own gullibility, she spat out the minty water. Dinah turned away from the mirror before she opened her eyes again. She slipped out of her robe and stepped into the shower cubicle.

Scalding water pounded hard against her reddening flesh, cleansing her skin of sex and sweat. But eyes open or closed she could still see what they had done to each other. She felt used and dirty and no amount of soap was helping.

Anger surged through her body and she slammed her fist into the tiled wall. She didn't feel pain so she did it again … and again. As her knuckle split Dinah pulled back and began to cry. Hurt washed through her.

Helena had hurt her.

…………………………….

Helena Kyle had left her motel room and headed for the nearest bar. She had pulled up a stool next to the first guy she had seen, promising obscene things with her eyes if he bought her a drink. She wasn't looking her best, but she could still pull with ease.

After pissing off the first three guys by not fulfilling her part of the silent agreement she had been asked to move on. Helena then hit the next bar and then the next until she could hardly stand. Finally, drinking enough to let her sleep a dreamless night she slung her backpack over her shoulder and searched for some where to lay her head. A good night's sleep would help with her early start. Tomorrow, Helena intended to leave New Gotham and her haunting thoughts behind.

As Helena walked into yet another motel she gave the clerk a smile that never reached her stormy eyes.

"I'd like a room for the night … please." She tried not to breath toxic fumes as she gave the pimply teen another sexy smile.

"Certainly." The clerk tapped at the computer to see which of the empty rooms to give her. His eyes had lit up when he had spotted the gorgeous woman sauntering across the parking lot outside. He would impress her with a room that had been cleaned recently. "Room 4." He handed her the key. "That'll be …"

Helena shook her head slowly as he was about to spit out the cost of the room. She had no money because she wouldn't be getting paid until Friday. She had no intention of paying anyway. "I was thinking that you could let me have the room for free." She licked her full lips seductively growing pale at the thought of still being able to taste the blonde.

It was the clerk's turn to shake his head as a sly smirk inched across his acne riddled face. "I can't let you have the room for nothing, but I am willing to … bargain." He licked his own dry lips.

Helena almost growled at the thought of what she would have to do for the room. She kept herself calm and returned a feral grin. "Okay, but you've gotta throw in a couple of bucks." She was pimping herself and it disgusted her but this way she could make the money for a bus ticket and maybe breakfast as well. "I'm worth more than a lousy room."

The clerk nodded furiously. He couldn't believe his luck. He was so excited that he almost pulled the drawer of the cash register off of its hinges and came in his pants at the same time. He gave the babe a fifty. He didn't care that the till would be down it wasn't his job anyway. He was doing someone a favour and having those lips around his cock would make it all worth it.

Helena pocketed the cash and came around behind the desk separating them. She unzipped his pants and dropped to her knees. She couldn't believe that the mighty and feared Huntress had come to this.

………………………………………….

Helena stared out across the road as the early morning sun burned the sky. She had been kicked out of her room just before sun rise by an angry manager. So she sat, waiting for the bus that would take her away from Gotham, thinking of the two she was leaving behind. As she sat there she realised that her thoughts were less and less of Barbara. Helena was focusing on the hurt she had caused her young friend, the girl who had held her in her arms as she sobbed uncontrollably. She had stolen that girl's innocence like the thief that ran in her blood as much as the vigilante. She had taken something that could never be given back and she was unworthy.

She blinked away the threat of tears as her eyes caught sight of the blonde standing like a statue across the busy road. The figure was like a mirage as she waited for the traffic to calm so that she could cross the road safely.

"You were seen, Hel." Dinah wished that Barbara's source hadn't managed to give them the brunette's whereabouts in time. Her stomach turned as she neared Helena. She stood with her hands on her hips with an 'I'm not gonna take any shit' glare on her face. "Barbara wants you home and I'm here to take you back."


	5. Chapter 5

Dinah didn't say anything

Title: Fear and Loathing in New Gotham pt.5

"Back off baby-bird. I'm leaving. It's the right thing to do."

"No you're not, Big-bird." Dinah spat vehemently. "Barbara wants you home and you are not going to put her through anymore shit. Grow a back bone will you?"

Helena stood from her bench and pulled herself to her full height. It vexed her to realise that the blonde was now a couple of inches taller than her. She shrank back a little. "I can't. You know what happened between me and Barbara."

Dinah fought the urge to tap her foot impatiently. It was still early. She still had time to get the brunette back to the Clock Tower and herself off to school. She didn't want to be at home. She would gladly suffer the emotional rigors of high school today. "Barbara doesn't blame you for Wade's death. She's been worried sick using all of her resources to find you."

The brunette hung her head. She couldn't meet incandescent blue eyes sending her death glares. "Dinah …"

"Don't, Helena. Just get in the car."

"But …"

Dinah sighed. "I've had enough of this." She threw her hands up to emphasize her exasperation. "Are you coming or not? 'Cause if not … then I'll just go and leave you to your self pity." She turned towards the road and waited for the other woman to join her before crossing.

……………………………………………….

"I'm so sorry, Dinah." Helena breathed towards the window and watched the patch of fog spread to obscure her view.

"You should be."

"What I did was unforgivable."

"You used me."

"I know."

Dinah shook her head trying to clear her thoughts. "And I let you." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"I still shouldn't have …" _'Taken what I didn't deserve'_

"You're right, you shouldn't have."

"I didn't realise …"

"You didn't realise what, Helena?" The blonde interrupted as her finger's gripped the steering wheel tightly. "You didn't realise that all I ever wanted was to help you and you treated me like a fuck buddy. I was your friend and I loved you, but what you did … made me feel sick and dirty."

Helena was stunned … she had made Dinah feel sick. Her own stomach turned as she thought about Dinah's panic, her asking to go slow. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have slept with you."

"What?" Dinah squeaked, anger tightening her vocal chords.

"I should never have had sex with you." Helena still couldn't look at the other woman. She was barely in control of her emotions as it was, looking over at the blonde would only enflame the images of what had happened between them, images that swamped her mind and made her want to growl. "I needed to be with …" _'Barbara'_ she thought. " … someone. But you were too young and I took advantage."

"What?" Dinah didn't understand. She wasn't too young. She wasn't a child. "Oh no you don't. No, no, no, no, no." She shook her head, struggling to keep her eyes and mind on the road. "So that's why you left? You shouldn't have had sex with me?" Dinah was incredulous. "You know what, Hel? I missed out, but you must be real good with the pillow talk. You should write a book, '101 Way's To Sweet Talk Your Girl'." She was still shaking her head in disbelief. "You're just like the guys at school. Fuck'em and chuck'em." The blonde blew out a puff of air. "Wow! So how old are you again? I mean 'cause you're not exactly acting very adult yourself."

"No, Dinah, you're getting it all wrong." Helena had turned away from the window as the blonde started to rant, finally allowing herself to take in the irate teen. "I took advantage of you, of your inexperience. I was so … excited that I couldn't stop when you wanted me too. I could see that you were scared."

Dinah pulled the SUV to the side of the road, oblivious to annoyed honking from other drivers. She cut the engine, released her seat belt and turned to face the brunette. "Okay, now you're just plain crazy." Dinah gripped Helena's chin and looked at her straight in the eyes. She frowned at what she saw in those turbulent cobalt irises. "My god! You really believe that don't you? You really believe that you … forced me to have sex with you?"

"You said that I made you feel dirty." Helena's eyes started to tear. "I could see that you were scared and you asked me to stop."

"I asked you to slow down." Dinah corrected; her voice softening as she saw the pain. "I wanted it to happen and even though you're going through some crazy shit right now, I want you to know that I enjoyed it."

"Damn it, Dinah." Helena squeezed her eyes shut so that she couldn't see the sympathy aimed at her. "After what I did … what I took, how can you even stand to be near me?"

"What you took?" Dinah puzzled, smoothing away auburn hair from pretty features.

A tear slipped from closed lids. "You were … innocent."

Dinah almost wanted to laugh, she was anything but. She had seen and been a part of way too much to be considered innocent … oh. "Oh."

"You deserved so much more than me." Helena loathed herself. "Especially for your first time. You didn't need a nut job crying and slobbering all over you. It should've been special. It should've been with someone you love."

"I love you, Helena."

Startled eyes snapped open.

Dinah giggled. "Not like that. I love you as my friend … an incredibly attractive, superhero friend whom I'm crazy about. But, you see … you have this little obsession with a certain redhead and I could never compete, so I'm not even going to try.

What happened in that motel was me sharing a part of myself with someone I loved and cared for. You needed me and I needed you … because, I was so much more than ready.

"So that's why you freaked?"

Helena nodded. She had thought that she had stolen, but instead she had been given. "I'm so sorry Dinah."

"You're gonna have to learn a new line, y'know?"

"I'm sorry for leaving you." The brunette apologised again. "I've done some really fucked up stuff these past few weeks, but leaving you was one of the worst."

The blonde leaned forward and pressed her lips to Helena's in a brief kiss. "Thank you."

"What for?"

"Saying the most beautiful things." She grinned. "Now take a couple of deep breaths."

Russet brows met in contemplation. "Why?"

"Because …" Dinah started the engine and pulled back into the flow of traffic. "It's time to face Barbara."

"Will you be there with me?" Helena knew that it was time to face the music where Barbara was concerned. Her guilt at killing Wade, her confession of love and her running away. It all seemed a little easier just as long as she had Dinah with her.

"Of course I will. We're friends aren't we?" The teen patted the other woman's knee. "Besides, it gets me out of school again."


	6. Chapter 6

Dinah didn't say anything

Title: Fear and Loathing in New Gotham pt.6

The elevator hummed as it thrust upwards, passing floor after floor, heading for the top.

"Are you okay?" Dinah could feel the nervous energy emanating from her friend.

Helena pursed her lips and blew out a long calming breath as she nodded her reply.

"Are you sure you want me in there?"

The brunette nodded again. "Definitely."

"It could get a little embarrassing." Dinah kept her gaze locked with the other woman's. "You know, it's about more than you running away?"

"I know." Helena breathed again. She had always thought that breathing was an automatic reaction, something your body did that you never had to think about. But right now, Helena believed that if she stopped thinking about breathing that she would stop breathing. She pulled in and then released another deep breath. "But, you know everything anyway."

"What about Barbara?"

Helena's eyes flared with panic. "D'you think she'd be uncomfortable having you there?"

Dinah came across the elevator cell and rested her hand against the other woman's chest. She could feel the erratic pounding of her heart. "Hel, calm down." She ran her free hand up and down Helena's arm. "You want me to be there, right?"

Helena nodded as her body released some of its tension.

"Then I'm going to be there. Barbara will be okay, you will be okay … me, I'm always okay." She shrugged and flashed a warm smile.

It was then that Helena caught sight of the nasty bruises and cut marring the blonde's knuckles. "What happened?" She tentatively touched the hand resting on her chest. She traced the laceration with delicate fingers.

"I had a fight." Dinah watched as the other woman cocked an eyebrow. "With myself."

"Who won?"

"Me."

………………………………………..

Barbara was anxious. She wanted to pace but that was an impossibility so she tapped at the Delphi, searching through bus schedules for Helena's possible destination. It was a futile task; there would be no way of predicting the brunette's moves if she left New Gotham but it kept her mind occupied.

Barbara started as the doors to the elevator slid open. She spun her wheelchair around, a look of apprehension on her face. Trepidation morphed into hope and then relief as Dinah stepped out of the elevator closely followed by Helena.

"Hey." Barbara's voice was soft as she greeted the duo.

"Hey, Barbara. Look who I found." Dinah grinned at the redhead.

Barbara was staring and she knew it but couldn't stop. Helena was more than just her friend. They had been confidants and partners for the past seven years. They had been through more together than anyone should ever have to. It was so good to see her again. It had only been a couple of weeks but she had missed the other woman terribly.

"You look terrible." Barbara smiled.

"You're not looking too hot yourself, Red." Helena replied warmly.

Dinah rolled her eyes.

"You've lost a lot of weight." Barbara continued the friendly banter hoping to make them both feel a little more comfortable.

Helena looked down at herself. She was wearing leather pants and a vest that were once snug but now hung loose. "I guess I have."

"Do you want something to eat?"

"I could eat." The brunette spoke with nonchalance even as her stomach growled.

Dinah grinned.

"Okay." Barbara nodded, making her way towards the kitchen before turning towards the silent blonde. "Will you be okay making your own way to school?"

"Do you mind if I stay home today, Barbara?" Dinah came towards the redhead, eyes flitting back to the brunette.

It was subtle, but Barbara had noticed the worried look Dinah had given Helena, the look that Helena had returned. Her partner needed the blonde to be there and why wouldn't she? Dinah had been Helena's only contact with their world for weeks now. The younger woman had always seemed to be a calming influence on the fiery Huntress, having her present would be beneficial.

Barbara was only nervous with Dinah's presence herself because of what would surely come up when they talked. But, if Helena was comfortable then she would just have to get over her own fears.

"Okay, Dinah." Barbara thought that she had seen relief in Helena's steel blue eyes that were more emotive and raw than she had ever seen them. "I'll call in and let your teachers know just as long as you make sure to catch up on all of the work you've missed."

Dinah aimed a wide smirk at the brunette. "Cool."

Helena couldn't help but return a grin of her own as her friend had gotten out of another days learning and with permission too. She decided that the redhead must be getting soft in her old age.

She followed the others as they headed into the kitchen. She stood behind Barbara, trying to peer over her shoulder into the opened cupboards. Helena was enjoying the familiarity but it didn't stop her brows knitting in consternation. Had Barbara just sniffed her?

"Smelling a little ripe there, Hel." Barbara pulled back. The scent was distinctive. Helena smelled like stale sweat and sex. "Why don't you go take a shower while Dinah and I make breakfast? There are still some clothes in your old room."

She had been correct, Barbara had sniffed her. She lifted up her arm and gave herself a quick sniff. Barbara was right. "Okay. Mines Blueberry." She called as the redhead reached for poptarts.

"You've got fifteen minutes."

…………………………………..

At the sound of the bathroom door slamming, Barbara turned to Dinah. "So what's going on?"

"What d'you mean?" The blonde pulled a carton of orange juice from the fridge and retrieved three glasses.

Barbara didn't really know herself, but she did know that something had happened between the two women that she was grossly unaware of. When Dinah had first joined them, the pair had been friendly. The blonde was in awe of the Huntress' crime fighting prowess. She looked up to Helena and Helena had found it irritating, but they had never really fought. The hostility had come after Wade's death. Dinah distrusted Huntress and Helena's anger at herself led to almost physical confrontations as they tried to deal.

But something had happened and it had happened recently. Dinah had seen something in Helena that no one except her mother and Barbara had ever seen. Dinah had been witness to Helena's vulnerability in the extreme and she was sure that it hadn't happened last Friday. It had happened since then.

"How was Helena when you found her?"

Dinah shrugged her shoulders as she turned away from green eyes. "Upset at having me there." She answered.

"How did you get her to come back with you?" Now Barbara knew that something had happened. The blonde was avoiding eye contact. There was definitely something that she was hiding.

Dinah shrugged again. "I kinda gave her an ultimatum. Get in or get lost."

"I chose the get in part." Helena rubbed a towel through her wet hair.

Dinah was stupefied. "That was … quick."

Helena flashed the younger woman a grin. "Meta speed, plus I was hungry."

Barbara had seen it all before. It often amazed her at how long it took Helena to get changed for sweeps, swapping and varying outfits to find the one the match her mood and the job at hand. A pair of pants that would be fine for just roof jumping and surveillance would not be suitable for kicking ass in a major smack down. A low cut tank top was great for that ultra sexy club look but totally bombed when she was heading for danger in a grungy warehouse. But, to shower and jump into a pair of sweats it took four minutes tops, especially when the kitchen called.

Barbara pointed at the table, signalling for Helena to take a seat and she would bring the poptarts over once she had finished warming them.

Helena took the seat next to Dinah and nudged her shoulder. "Nice crack."

The blonde choked and sprayed orange juice into her hand as she covered her mouth and coughed. "Excuse me?"

"I'm guessing that the fight you had with your bad self was in the shower." Helena mused. "There's a crack running through a couple of tiles."

"Oh." Dinah stammered.

"What are you two talking about?" Barbara moved her wheelchair towards the table and placed four blueberry poptarts onto Helena's plate and a single chocolate one on Dinah's plate. She then moved to the end of the table and started her own breakfast of coffee.

"I was just telling D that there's a couple of cracked tiles in the shower that need replacing." She wasn't lying.

Barbara sipped at the scalding liquid. "I'll call a repair man about it later."

The silence was becoming stagnant as they ate and drank their fill. No one knew how to start the conversation that was coming so they had tended to stay quiet, waiting for someone else to make the first move.

Helena figured that all this was because of her, so she opened her mouth. "How we gonna do this, Barbara?"

………………………………………………….

Helena felt like an injured kitten being petted. She was stretched out on the couch across the other two women. The blonde stroked her hair tenderly as the redhead scratched her feet.

Ever since 'The Talk', neither blonde nor redhead had left her side. They had cried and argued and cried some more. Helena had told them everything, Barbara's rejection, Wade's death, being told that it wasn't really her fault, running away because she wasn't able to be around the two people who cared beyond their own grief and fear. She had told them, sobbing at times, about how she had gotten a job and hotel room because of sexual favours. She elaborated on the fight that led to Dinah finding her in her bathroom.

She hadn't meant to say that much. Helena had wanted to keep it simple. Barbara and Wade. But once she began to talk the floodgates had opened.

There was only one thing that she had kept to herself, her time with Dinah. She was not about to share a secret that was only partly hers. The blonde had helped her more than she would ever know. So, she would keep their secret and lock it away deep inside so that no one would ever find it.

Helena had felt Dinah giving her hand a squeeze when she had finished, letting her know that she was grateful.

Then they had cried some more because no one had realised just how low Helena had sunk.

But, now they were back together and no one was going to rip them apart again. Each of them still had issues, grief, self-loathing, fear, amongst others. Only this time they were going to be there to help each other.

Concentrating on putting things behind them, they were more than a little shocked by Helena's announcement. She was no longer going to be Huntress. She quit. Helena could no longer be that person, an animal who had killed with ease and relish. The loss of control that came with becoming Huntress made her tremble with a desire she loathed so she was going to fight it down.

She was no longer going to be a Bird of Prey.

Helena was going to support the other two women, in what capacity, she didn't know yet. Fighting for justice in a world rarely able to fight for itself was a part of them. It was in their blood as much as it had been in hers until she had washed it away with the blood from her hands. She would be their Lois Lane, their Mary Jane Watson, their Original Cindy. But she would never fight again. How could she be the hero after taking a life?

……………………………………………….

They sat together contemplating past, present and future. It had been a long day and it wasn't even over.

"So," Helena was the first to speak as difficult as it was in her near catatonic state. At one point in the petting process, she had actually purred. "Are you going to school tomorrow, Baby-bird?"

"Yes she is." Barbara replied before Dinah could make up any excuses to stay home again. She had been invaluable during their heart to heart, but her grades would start to suffer if she missed anymore school.

"Like Barbara said." Dinah sifted her fingers through auburn hair and massaged the other woman's scalp. "So no wild parties while we're out young lady." She yawned widely.

Helena also yawned and chuckled as Barbara caught the yawn and volleyed it back to Dinah who yawned again.

They were all completely drained but it felt good to be together again.

The ringing telephone snapped them out of their titters.

Barbara reached for the telephone by the couch and lifted it to her ear before passing it on to Dinah. "It's Gabby."

"Hey, Gab." Dinah spoke to her friend and listened with intent. "No way!" She exclaimed before rudely shifting the dozing woman on top of her and speed-walked to the privacy of her bedroom.

"So, do you think things will ever be the same as before?" Helena turned onto her back, head resting against the arm of the sofa.

Barbara shook her head as she continued to manipulate the feet in her lap. "The same? No. Things haven't been right for a while now." She sighed. What she wouldn't give for the power of hindsight. "It's time we had a shake down."

"I'm not saying things will be better now." The older woman wished that Helena would reconsider her decision to leave 'The Life' behind. "But I am saying that we will evolve and become something more. The same, but different." Barbara frowned at her own words. She had turned around and confused herself.

"The three of us were the best." Helena mused. "And even now, with me no longer fighting, we'll still be the best because we'll change just like you did. When you could no longer be Batgirl you became Oracle. The same, but different."

"Damn." Barbara was impressed because the other woman had made sense of what she had said. "Why didn't you do better at school?"

Helena chuckled. "Because it bored the shit out of me."

The redhead joined in with the laughter as she remembered that extremely bright teenager with the attention span of a three year old hyped up on sugar.

"So, Hel, what'll it be for dinner? I'm thinking takeout, unless you wanna cook?" Barbara asked as a moment's silence followed the giggles.

Helena's stomach groaned at the mention of food. They had totally skipped lunch being preoccupied with 'The Talk'. "Chinese is always good."

"Everything's 'always good' to you." Barbara laughed.

Helena mock pouted until an irrepressible smile interrupted. "Do you want me to go and see what D wants?"

The redhead shook her head. "You stay there. I need to freshen up anyway." She shifted herself to her wheelchair with practised ease as Helena moved her feet.

"Barbara?" The young brunette watched as the other woman settled herself.

"Hmm?" Barbara replied.

"I still love you, you know?" She continued before Barbara could interrupt. "I don't expect anything from you. I know that you could never love me in that way … I just wanted you to know that it was never a phase with me. It wasn't a trivial crush that started all of this off." It was something that Helena needed to say while Dinah wasn't there.

"I love you, Hel."

"As a friend?"

"Always." Barbara smiled warmly and Helena returned it. "Now let's go and see what the queen of three hour phone calls wants to eat."

……………………………………………

Barbara could hear chatting as she made her way to Dinah's bedroom. What puzzled her was that she could hear two voices. Suddenly, realisation dawned. Dinah and Gabby were conversing face to face using the web cams attached to their computers. Dinah must have run off to her room to use her own computer because there was no way in hell that she would let her use the Delphi.

Barbara knocked on the door but received no reply so she pushed it open and wheeled in. She was about to speak up until she noticed the typical teenage conversation and grimaced at the thought of the bill.

Just how long could two people hold up a chat that consisted of

"No way"

"Yes way"

"No – no way"

"I'm telling you for sure"

"No way"

Barbara also noticed why Dinah hadn't heard her knocking on the door. She was wearing a pair of headphones that, on hearing Gabby's voice still coming through the speakers, had not been plugged in fully.

"You so did not have sex with Helena."

"Oh yes I did." Dinah replied.


	7. Chapter 7

Dinah didn't say anything

Title: Fear and Loathing in New Gotham pt.7

To say that she was in shock would be an understatement.

"You so did not have sex with Helena."

"Oh yes I did." Dinah replied.

Barbara splashed icy water into her mouth and swallowed as she sat in her modified bathroom.

They had had sex.

As the words had spilled from Dinah's mouth, Barbara had panicked. She had manoeuvred herself out of the blonde's bedroom before she had been noticed and now she was hiding. Barbara didn't know what to make of the confession.

Perhaps Dinah was mistaken.

Barbara shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. Stupid. Dinah was a teenager; she probably knew more about sex than Barbara did. She had often caught kids at school discussing the finer points of copulation and even though she was only thirty-three, she hadn't understood everything being described.

Perhaps Dinah was lying.

Dinah didn't lie … but then again, she had. Barbara thought about when this could have happened.

Friday? Dinah had found Helena upset and sick.

No. Barbara shook her head again.

The weekend? No. Dinah had spent the entire weekend with her except for sweeps, but even then they were in constant communication.

Monday? Dinah had skipped school to go and look for the brunette but hadn't found her.

Barbara's eyes snapped open as her memories flooded her mind and did their best to convince her that Monday was the day.

Dinah had said that she had had sex with Helena, Barbara believed her. Oh god. Her seventeen year old ward had had sex with her twenty-four year old best friend. Were they crazy? What had they been thinking? Why hadn't they told her?

Barbara felt betrayed but it didn't seem justified. Why did she feel betrayed? Sex between two consenting adults was perfectly natural. Nothing wrong there. But, did she consider Dinah to be an adult? The answer was a definite yes. She was young but in no way a child. Sex was also a private affair and she didn't need or want to know when her two younger friends 'did it'. Therefore, not being told was the right thing for them to do. But, Dinah hadn't even told her that she had seen Helena, she had said that she had gone looking for her but hadn't found a thing. So, Barbara had continued her search without vital information, like where she actually was.

Dinah hadn't needed to say that she had found Helena had sex and then left. She could have just told her where the brunette was without elaborating.

Why hadn't Dinah told her that she had seen Helena? Why had she, instead, hidden it from her?

Barbara pulled her glasses to the end of her nose and rubbed the bridge between finger and thumb. She was starting to get a headache. Barbara didn't know what she was going to do.

She groaned.

"Did you fall in?" Helena's muffled voice came through the locked bathroom door as she knocked.

Barbara jumped. "What?" She squeaked.

"Are you okay in there?"

The redhead could hear the concern in the other woman's voice. She took a deep breath before replying as calmly as possible. "I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay. I'll go and see what D wants to eat."

"Okay." Barbara called back, sliding her glasses back into position. She glared at her reflection, looking for answers. They were lovers. Small smiles, little touches, Dinah's noticeable concern for the brunette and Helena's need for her to be there during 'The Talk' had convinced her. They were lovers and they wanted to keep it to themselves, for now, she hoped. Barbara decided that she wouldn't say anything until one or both came to her and told her.

'This is going to be so hard' She thought before leaving.

…………………………………….

"What you doin?" Dinah bounded up besides Helena as they waited for Barbara to return before they called and ordered takeout.

The brunette pursed her lips as she flicked through a stack of cd's. "Thought we could listen to some tunes while we ate."

Helena wasn't even looking at the cases in her hands, Dinah could tell. Helena was shuffling Barbara's collection of classic eighties music and it was definitely not her flavour. "Are you okay?" She took the discs out of the other woman's hands and put them back into the cd tower.

"It all seems too easy." Helena sighed.

"What does?" Dinah frowned.

The brunette waited a beat for the blonde to finish stacking the discs and turn to her. "Being back here … after everything that's happened."

Dinah took one of Helena's hands in her own. "How can you say today was easy?" She smiled warmly.

Helena shrugged her shoulders. "We talk, we move on … but what about Wade?"

Dinah stepped forward and pulled the brunette into her arms. She placed her head on Helena's shoulder and hugged her tightly. "We'll never forget him, Hel. But you've gotta remember that we don't blame you for his death." She pulled back, cupped Helena's cheek and swiped at a stray tear with her thumb. "And if I have to remind you of that every day … I will."

……………………………………..

'Oh God' Barbara groaned internally. How was she supposed to do this when they were so obvious? She cleared her throat to let them know that she was back.

"Hey." Dinah turned to Barbara as Helena turned away and wiped her face dry. "We ready to order?" The blonde's brows knitted as she took in her guardian. Was Barbara blushing? Her silent question was left unanswered as the brunette spun around and spoke.

"Sure am."


	8. Chapter 8

Dinah didn't say anything

Title: Fear and Loathing in New Gotham pt.8

A couple of months later.

"Are you okay, Canary?" Barbara tapped at her keyboard as she monitored Dinah's erratic heartbeat.

"I so just kicked bad guy ass." Her yelp of glee boomed though the speakers. "That was so cool."

Barbara was amazed that the young blonde had managed to defeat the organised group of muggers on her own and in under three minutes. "Impressive." The redhead grinned over her shoulder at the ex-Huntress. "What was that … four guys?"

"Five." Helena's smile widened. She had stayed back and watched the duo work without her. She was confident in Dinah's abilities but it didn't stop her from worrying. "That's my girl."

Barbara turned back to the Delphi as a slight blush crept up her face. "Okay, Canary, police are on their way." She didn't let on that she had called them as soon as Dinah had dropped into the potentially volatile situation.

"I gathered." Dinah replied as she tied up her attackers. She could hear the sound of sirens and knew that it wouldn't be long before they reached her. "Tell 'you know who' that I'll meet her 'you know where' in ten minutes."

The need for anonymity over the comms was a necessity, but it could get a little ridiculous sometimes. "Okay, have a good time. See you when you get back." Barbara turned away from her computer and faced the brunette. "No Man's Land in ten minutes."

Helena nodded. "You sure that you don't wanna come?"

The redhead removed her glasses and rubbed at her sore eyes. "I'd love to, but it's getting late and there's some grading I want to finish."

"Don't do it." Helena gave her a sly grin. "You know my philosophy. 'Why do today, what you can put off until tomorrow?'"

Barbara gave an exasperated sigh before she started to chuckle.

"You've been doing really well with her training, you know?" She changed the subject before Helena took persuading her to go out with them as a personal challenge.

The brunette's grin widened. "D's a pleasure to work with." She shrugged. "She loves to learn how to put the hurt on someone."

"And you love to teach it, I suppose."

"I sure as hell do."

If it wasn't for the 'loving to teach violence' part, Barbara would have thought that Helena would make a good martial arts teacher. But teaching someone who wasn't prepared for the young woman's strength and skill, unlike Dinah, could be a lawsuit in the making. So she never suggested it.

"So," Helena reached for the duster she had hung over the hand rail behind them. "Do you want me to fetch you some more coffee before I go?"

Barbara shook her head. "No thanks. Now go and enjoy yourself before Dinah thinks you've stood her up." She would have laughed at the turnabout if it wasn't so tragic. Helena, the great Huntress, resorted to being a drinks caddy if Dinah wasn't here to tease or train or if she wasn't working her shift as a waitress.

"Okay." The younger woman replied as she trotted to the elevator.

………………………………….

Later that night

"Mmm." Dinah grinned. "She's alright."

Helena shook her head and snorted as she tried to stifle her laugh. She watched a very pretty brunette walk past them on the way into the bar. "You wouldn't stand a chance with her."

"Hey." Dinah was offended. "I'll bet I could …"

"No. Way. In. Hell." Helena interrupted.

"Why not?" The blonde spoke indignantly.

The older woman smirked. "Your boobs aren't big enough for one."

Dinah was shocked. She glanced over towards the not particularly voluptuous brunette that she had been eyeing and then down at her own chest. She wasn't small. She wasn't Pamela Lee either, but she wasn't Callista Flockheart flat.

"Number two … you aren't a guy."

"Hey." Dinah slapped Helena's arm. "I've got bigger boobs than a guy."

Helena began to laugh. "Not that guy." She pointed towards the mountain of muscle exiting the gents. "They're regulars." Helena continued to laugh as she ordered a couple of more drinks.

"Your boobs look real nice to me."

A heavy set drunk slurred from Dinah's right as they sat at the bar.

"Fuck off Buddy, she's not interested." Helena couldn't believe the nerve of the guy.

The drunk put his foot on the rest that ran along the length of the bar and slipped. He tried again. "What do you say little lady?" He grinned obscenely. "I can show you a good time."

Dinah couldn't believe this guy was hitting on her. He was old enough to be her father, out of his face, ugly as hell, and male. She shook her head. "My friend was right. I'm not interested."

He grabbed for her arm. "Come on, one dance then."

"No." She tried to rip her arm out of his grasp but it held tight.

Then the drunk started to splutter and choke, sending spittle onto her bare arm. Dinah looked up from his hand to his face and noticed that someone held him tight around his neck. As his face reddened, the blonde heard a low growl.

Dinah grabbed for the choking hand, trying to ease the pressure. Her eyes burned into the Huntress' cat like glower, pleading for her to let go.

The grip released and the drunk fell to his knees, eyes wide with fear as he pulled in much needed air.

Huntress slammed her eyes shut and turned away from piercing blue.

"You fucking bitch." The drunken guy was now sober and angry as hell at being beat by a girl. He jumped to his feet and pounced.

Dinah slammed her elbow into his face and he fell back to the floor. She stalked over to the retreating Huntress and pulled her to a stop. Spinning the brunette around, the blonde looked at Helena. "You stopped."

Helena shook her head. "But I didn't want to." She breathed. "If you hadn't been here … I would've … I could've …"

"You could have handled it." Dinah pleaded.

"No, I couldn't. She's too strong and I'm too weak."

"But …"

"But nothing Dinah. I can't afford to let it out. What if I hurt someone really bad?" Helena took a deep calming breath. She shook her head as she looked past the blonde to the drunken man lying on the floor. "Please, don't argue with me over this."

There was a long silent pause between the two women as each tried to gauge whether or not to continue the squabble.

"Okay." Dinah resigned for the time being. "Let's go somewhere else. I feel like dancing." She could see the other woman force a smile on her face.

…………………………………………..

Later that week – Friday night

"Come with us." Helena bounced besides Barbara. "The Delphi can survive on it's own for a few hours."

"Is it just you two?" The redhead smiled warmly, a mischievous glint in emerald eyes.

Helena nodded. "We could make it a threesome."

Barbara blushed. "Erm … I don't think so. You two don't need me playing gooseberry."

"Oh come on. We're going to the movies not clubbing." The brunette had been spending all of her free time with Dinah and even though she loved every minute spent with her good friend, they were leaving out the redhead way too much. It seemed unfair that they go out and dance, or drink, or play pool, or go to the movies and Barbara always stayed at home watching the damned city from her computer.

Barbara shook her head. "No really. Just make sure that Dinah's home in time for sweeps. Other than that, enjoy the film." She turned back to the Delphi dismissing Helena at the same time.

……………………………………………..

"So you didn't talk her into it then." Dinah had observed the conversation from the elevator. "You didn't tell her what movie we're going to see, did you?"

Helena chuckled as she shook her head. "No way. Telling Barbara Gordon that we are going to see Scooby Doo would definitely put her off the idea of coming."

"Hey, don't knock the Scoob." Dinah pinched the other woman playfully. "Velma's a hottie."

Tears started to roll down the brunette's face as she laughed harder. "Velma? I thought every teenage girl's fantasy was Daphne?"

"Sarah Michelle Gellar with orange hair?" She shook her head with distaste. "I don't think so. I prefer brunette's anyway." Dinah winked. "So what excuse did Barbara give this time? She's becoming a hermit, you know?"

Helena nodded her affirmation with the blonde's observation. "Just to make sure that I get you back here in time for hero's work."

"Been no big trouble for a while, should be quiet night."

……………………………..

Dinah was hurting and the Huntress was free.

Helena had observed the blonde's sweep of the city from the other side of the comms. She had leaned against the handrail and watched Barbara manipulate the Delphi, telling Dinah where to go and what trouble to expect. But something had gone wrong. Always expect the unexpected. But none of them had expected what had happened.

The Canary had been ambushed.

There were supposed to be three guys tops. The two guys who had run into the liquor store and held it up at gun point and the driver of the getaway car.

Canary had been too late to catch the robbery in action, so she had taken to the roof tops and followed the speeding vehicle. She had stopped as the van had stopped and watched the three guys exit and head into one of the many abandoned buildings. She had dropped into an alley that ran along the side of the building and that's where it had gone wrong.

Canary was meant to sneak into the building using a ground floor window, find the guys, do a little damage and gift wrap them for the police.

A fourth guy had been keeping watch. He had noticed the mysterious figure as she dropped from above. He had been startled but he had also managed to signal his friends.

Four men, five men, seven men and then another.

"Shit!" Dinah exclaimed as she was charged at.

Another one and another, they were still coming out of the not so abandoned building.

Canary had stumbled on more than a three man team of robbers. She tried her best, she really did. It was all too much. Too many men, too many fists and feet. Canary didn't stand a chance.

………………………………………..

Huntress ran. Rooftops passed by in a blur. She leapt and bounded over gaping chasms.

Faster and faster.

She was nearing them. Muffled cries of help, thuds of flesh and leather against flesh. Huntress could hear everything. She could smell the sickening stench of rust. Dinah was bleeding.

One, two, three and Huntress dived. She hadn't stopped. From running to freefall. Chilled air bit into her skin as she plummeted downwards, body perfectly streamline.

Faster and faster. Story after story. Straight down.

Suddenly, Huntress rolled. Tucking herself inwards and then upwards she landed silently in a low crouch.

Then she was moving again. A tornado of fists and feet. Spinning tightly and lashing out with her hand she caught the last man standing with a backhanded fist that sent him crashing in to the wall face first. He slid, unconscious to the ground.

"Dinah." Huntress growled as she tenderly stroked wisps of blonde hair from the girl's bloodied face.

Dinah's eyes fluttered open. Startled by the feral look on her friend's face she crawled backwards until she hit the alley wall.

"Oh God." Huntress stumbled back and fell onto her bottom. She closed her eyes tight, trying to control her pounding heart, trying to banish the monster within that everyone feared and loathed in equal quantities. She emulated the blonde by crawling back away from her, until she felt a hand grab her wrist.

"Huntress." Dinah was dizzy. Blood seeping from a cut to her forehead was running into her eyes and she didn't know how much longer she would remain awake. "Thank God you came."

Huntress let out a sob as her eyes reverted to steel blue. Helena reached out for the blonde. "Please Dinah, you've got to stay awake." She pulled her into her arms and cradled her battered body. "Barbara, if you can hear me," She spoke into Dinah's necklace, praying that it hadn't been damaged. "Send an ambulance, we need help."

"Helena?" Dinah mumbled as she struggled to keep her eyes open. "Did you hurt them?"

The brunette nodded her head as she gazed into cloudy blue eyes. "But they'll be alright."

Dinah winced as she tried to smile. "You did good, Hel. You're my hero, you know?"

Helena choked back scalding tears. "And you're mine." She whispered as she bought their lips together in a tender kiss.


	9. Chapter 9

Dinah didn't say anything

Title: Fear and Loathing in New Gotham pt.9

Dew sodden green squished under her feet. Helena walked across the grass lawns towards her destination. She visited so often that she could find the plot with her eyes closed.

The brunette stopped.

Rolling the long leafy stem between her fingers, Helena brought the vibrant white rose to her nose and took in the delicate aroma.

Crouching down.

She rested the flower against the headstone, nestled in the freshly cut grass before she stood.

"Hey." Helena Kyle spoke softly, not wanting to disturb the dawn song of birds and crickets. "I'm here again. You're probably getting sick of me by now."

It had taken so long for Helena to come here and now she was standing in the exact same spot almost every morning. She needed to visit the stone. She needed to talk, to explain, to breathe. Standing in the middle of hundreds of gravestones, come rain or shine, helped her cling to sanity.

"Things have been going on. It's all kinda hectic and I'm tryin' to deal but it can get so hard sometimes." The young woman thought over her words carefully. She looked up at azure blue skies and smiled to herself thinking about similar coloured eyes. "I think about you all the time. I can't help it."

"Barbara say's that I need to start looking forward … and I am tryin'."

"She's talked me into helping her again. Huntress is back. She say's that I'm needed now … that New Gotham needs me … needs Huntress. But it scares me. It scares me that I find that part of me so hard to control." Helena swiped at a tear that escaped her cobalt eyes. "I couldn't stop myself when I needed to the most … so what makes the next time any different?"

Helena took in a long breath and blew it out slowly. She knelt on leather clad knees. "I've talked to Barbara. She say's that I'm doing the right thing and that you would approve. Oh God, I hope you approve."

"She doesn't know that I come here so often … that I need to talk to you. She knows I visit. She say's that it's totally natural." The brunette pursed her lips as she thought about the redhead. "I can see that she feels guilty about not coming so often herself. She misses you, you know? But Barbara handles grief in her own way. I know when she's thinking about you because she finds it hard to look at me. I know that she blames herself too … she blames herself for bringing you into our life and for not helping you."

"We miss you, you know? I know that I picked on you, but that's just me and I'm so sorry."

Helena pushed herself back onto her feet. She rubbed at her eyes and took a deep breath. Grass of lush verdant and a multitude of floral tributes assaulted her extraordinary senses. This place and its constant air of peace comforted her more than she could say.

She took a last longing gaze at the uniform headstone, wishing that it was her in there.

"For everything … and I know that I say it every time, but I mean it … I'm so sorry."

"Goodbye."


	10. Chapter 10

Dinah didn't say anything

Title: Fear and Loathing in New Gotham pt.10

Helena ran unsteady hands through her fashionably mussed hair and took a deep breath while waiting for the elevator to reach the top floor.

She always felt like this after going to the cemetery. Regret and guilt ferociously burned at her insides. Tears and fears still attacked. It was something that the brunette had accepted and resigned herself to live with.

Helena walked from the open doors and into the Clock Tower. "Hey, Alfred. Is she still in bed?" Her calm voice veiled how she really felt.

"I believe so, Miss Helena." Alfred turned as he heard the brunette's voice. He was about to ask how she was but she had already disappeared. The elderly butler shook his head. "Poor child."

…………………………………………..

"Hey." Sleepy eyes fluttered open as she felt a presence in her room.

"Hey."

Helena watched as the drowsy woman threw her bedclothes to one side revealing half of an appealing mattress. "Why don't you get in?"

Kicking off boots and pushing down leather pants, Helena climbed into the bed next to an inviting body and pulled the covers back up around her chin.

"Barbara …" Helena inhaled the other woman's natural perfume. "… She's gonna realise that there's something going on between us if we keep this up." She slid her hand under Dinah's pyjama vest and wrapped fingers around the slender woman's waist.

"Then I guess that we're gonna have to tell her." The blonde teenager kissed Helena's forehead as she brushed dark bangs from sapphire eyes. "Soon."

"Okay." The brunette lifted her lips and kissed the other woman before resting her head against her chest.

Dinah ran her fingers through her lover's hair as quiet embraced them. "You've been to see him again, haven't you?" Her voice was barely able to breach the hush.

Helena nodded.

"Did you tell him?" The young woman continued to sift the auburn hair.

Helena nodded again. "Do you think that he'd be pissed?" She looked up with anguish in her eyes.

"That the Huntress is back? No." She spoke with conviction. "I think that he'd be proud. You help people, Helena … you save lives. I don't think he could be anything but proud."

"Barbara said that he'd approve."

Dinah let a smile play on her face as she pulled the brunette tighter to her body. "And isn't Barbara the smartest person you know? Don't doubt her, Hel."

Helena Kyle lifted out of the blonde's arms so that she could look down into cerulean. "Thank you."

"What for?"

"For not thinking I'm a total head-case." She pressed her lips to Dinah's. "Thank you for letting me be with you." She kissed the other woman again.

Dinah groaned as Helena pulled away again.

"And thank you for seeing the best in me even when I'm not acting my best." She swooped down again and claimed Dinah's lips in a more passionate embrace. "I don't know what I would've done if I'd lost you."

"Sshhusshh." Dinah licked at her lips to taste the other woman. "Just kiss me."

…………………………………………….

Lips slipped and opened allowing eager tongues to play.

Helena pulled Dinah into her as they fused at the mouth; and rolled. She liked to feel the taller blonde lie along the length of her body, pressing into her. She skimmed knuckles up and down the other woman's waist before running her fingers up her spine and out to grip Dinah's shoulder blades and pull her in further. Helena brought her knees up so that Dinah nestled in between her legs, her right leg rubbing along the blonde's thigh.

"You have the most delicious mouth I have ever known." Helena stared at kiss bruised lips before kissing them again.

Dinah swirled her tongue inside of the brunette's mouth before slipping away. She kissed along Helena's jaw and ran her busy tongue along the length of her throat. The blonde licked at the hollow and trailed her heated lips down.

As Dinah mouthed her cleavage, Helena reached for the hem of the blonde's vest and pulled it upwards. Naked breasts teased her own through a layer of fabric. Helena wanted more contact. Pushing the blonde up a little, the older woman wiggled and yanked at her own shirt and bra until she was topless.

Dinah watched the wanton display with hooded eyes. She sucked her swollen bottom lip into her mouth and bit down to stifle a groan. "You are so beautiful." She whispered into fevered skin as she resumed her previous activity.

Helena arched upwards into the blonde's eager mouth. She could feel lips and tongue and small wet kisses cover her breasts, spending a little extra time to whip her nipples into a turgid frenzy, before moving south. The brunette felt on fire as warm breath tickled her stomach, getting lower until she could feel lips brush against the elastic waistband of her panties.

Dinah loved the way that Helena ran her fingers through her blonde hair. Someone so powerful, so used to taking, who could be so tender, amazed her. She slid her fingers under the elastic and eased the flimsy but practical black cotton panties down. Dinah then smoothed down her own pyjama shorts and kicked them across the room.

……………

They were face to face. Silky skin flush with silky skin. Kissing and touching until fingers were inside the other, pushing them towards release.

Dinah gazed into liquid blue as she thrust and twisted two fingers into her lover. She kissed her chin, her lips, her nose, and her eyes. Watching intently as beads of salt water trickled and dampened auburn hair. She wanted to taste but was too busy taking in the sight of her lover writhing beneath her.

Helena began to move her fingers inside of the blonde with more intensity. She matched the other woman's fervour, emulating the speed and depth. She could feel Dinah squeeze at her fingers.

Helena screwed her eyes tight, trying to hold herself back.

"Open your eyes." Dinah's voice was a low rumble. "Please, Hel … open your eyes … I … I …want to see you." She was struggling to talk and breathe. "I need … to see your eyes … I need to know that … it's me you're with."

Helena forced open her cobalt eyes, focusing slowly on oceans bluer than anything she had ever seen. She kissed the other woman fervently.

"Dinah."

She gasped as a thumb brushed against her clit.

"Dinah."

Her voice almost a whisper she continued to stare into azure orbs, totally transfixed.

As Helena spoke her name reverently, Dinah kissed the tip of her nose. "You're so … so beautiful."

"Dinah." The brunette moaned as she thrust herself against the blonde's hand. "There's … only … you."

As the blonde felt Helena convulse around her fingers, coming with her name on her lips, she exploded chanting Helena's name as she did so.

…………………………..

"Is Alfred still here?" Helena peered across the dining table at the redhead opposite.

Barbara shook her head as she swallowed a chunk of crispy lettuce. "He went back to the manor. Why?"

Helena looked towards an increasingly pallid blonde and then back to the redhead. She bit at her lip nervously. "Erm … 'cause I've got something that I need to tell you."

"We." Dinah piped in before pushing her meal away from her. Anxiety had made her lose her appetite. "We need to tell you something."

Barbara's russet brows knitted in consternation. "What's going on guys?" Thoughts of a totalled car and of secrets told invaded her mind. Suddenly, fear white washed over all of her other more trivial musings. "You aren't sick, are you?" Emerald eyes flashed between the two other women, trying to decide which one looked most ill.

"No." The brunette stressed. "We are both perfectly healthy."

"It's just that …" Dinah chewed on her lip. "Erm …"

Helena took a deep breath and reached for the blonde who was wringing her hands together. She laced her fingers with Dinah's and smiled into azure eyes. "We've been …" She frowned. She didn't know what, exactly, they had been doing. They had been out together, held hands and kissed, talked about everything and made love. "We've … er … been dating." She nodded her head. "Each other." She added just in case Barbara hadn't understood her staccato sentences.

"Is that all?" Barbara finally began to breathe again. Her pounding heart slowed until it regained its usual steady beating.

Helena Kyle sat back in her chair. Her eyebrows rose in astonishment and then furrowed in confusion. "I thought that you'd be …shocked, angry … erm, anything other than …" She waved at the redhead, searching for the right word. "Blasé. "

Barbara pursed her lips and winced. "I guess … I've had time to get used to the idea of you two together." She observed the bewilderment. "I've known for a while." She confessed.

"Oh God. Don't say you heard u…"

Helena clamped her hand on Dinah's mouth. "Please don't finish what ever you were going to say." She flushed red with embarrassment.

Barbara blushed a shade redder than her friend. "I've known for months. I … erm, I could just tell by the way you two were with each other." She didn't want to let them know that she had overheard Dinah's conversation with her best friend from school. It could've been construed as snooping.

"Months?" Dinah puzzled. They had only been together for thirty-four days, ever since she had gotten out of the hospital. "We haven't …"

Helena coughed and interrupted the blonde. She leaned forward into her girlfriend's personal space. "Barbara's right." She pecked Dinah coyly on the lips and winked before lowering her voice. "Even if we didn't know it ourselves."

The end.


End file.
